


Roomies Versus Spider

by Count_B



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Gen, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-09
Updated: 2010-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28633776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Count_B/pseuds/Count_B
Summary: Mikey and Frank faced many things in their time as friends as roommates. But this one was for all the Doritos, folks. This time, they might not make it out alive.
Relationships: Frank Iero & Mikey Way





	Roomies Versus Spider

Mikey knew the whole family worried about him when he moved out. It’s not like they made much of a secret of it, with all the calls he got and the times he was told to take home some groceries when he left from stopping by the house – and all the times he overheard Frank on the phone with Gee, or even Momma.  
  
But he never realized how right all those concerns were. Even having a roommate was not enough to save him.  
  
“Frank?” Mikey called. “Frankie!” He was yelling and maybe it was a bit shrill even to his own ears but there was no time to worry about that when there were more serious problems at stake.  
  
Eyes firmly anchored in place, he backed slowly out of the living room. There was still no sign of his roommate, which would normally not be a terrible thing but it was a matter of life and death here.  
  
“Get out here! _Now_!” Frank ran into the hallway, head stuck in his shirt. “There is a _spider_. _In **the living room**_.”  
  
“Kill it!” Mikey wasn’t sure which of them would win a manliest roommate contest – probably it would end with both of them unconscious and possibly missing a kidney or permanently crippled – but Frank’s squeal was definitely not a case in his favor.  
  
But tough luck, because it was time for Frank to step up. Mikey grabbed his arm and bodily dragged him into the living room, stopping a few feet from the corner that was now dominated by such a hostile invader. “No, you kill it!”  
  
The bickering carried on, each of them trying to push the other closer while staying far enough from the spider that if it had any previously undiscovered jumping abilities, it would not succeed in jumping on them. The spider seemed unfazed by the noise, even when Frank started cringing from how screechy they both had gotten.  
  
Which was a stupid move on his part, because Mikey knew an opening when he saw one and pushed Frank closer to the spider than either of them had gotten before. “No, no, you kill it, Mikey, I swear it’s not that bad, see, it’s not ev- Mikey, _it’s crawling, **oh my god it’s gonna get on me and we’re all gonna die!**_ Stopstopstop, _please_ stop!”  
  
But Frank was his best friend – aside from Gerard, anyway – so Mikey did stop then. And okay, maybe it was a little because they could not lose track of the spider or it would definitely crawl on them and possibly kill them in their sleep. But mostly it was because he didn’t want Frank to completely lose it and Frank was kind of shaking a little.  
  
“Okay, it’s okay, buddy.” Mikey took a deep breath and they both stepped back. “There’s gotta be another fucking solution. Because I am not touching that thing, and some douche didn’t replace the fucking Raid after he emptied the whole can on the last fucking spider.”  
  
“Oh fuck you,” Frank countered. “I didn’t realize we moved into the apartment where every fucking spider in the city decided to visit and that shit is expensive.”  
  
“Shut up, okay, let me fucking think, all right?” Mikey brought his hand up to his mouth and started biting his nails. “All this isn’t solving anything. We need an expert. We need- We need Ray.”  
  
Frank nodded and they both brightened at the thought. Ray was a capable guy, he’d help them out.  
  
Taking another step back, Mikey left Frank on spider watch while he dug his cell phone from his pocket and dialed the rock god. “Shit. Shit, fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. Ray’s not fucking answering. Call Gee, I’ll make sure it doesn’t get away.”  
  
“Why don’t you call Gee, he’s your fucking brother.” Frank sounded stressed, but he was still watching the spider, which was the important part. Mikey grabbed the empty pizza box off the tv, just in case he needed a back-up plan.  
  
“ _Exactly_ , dickwad. If I call, he’ll waste time making fun of me and _not_ coming here to kill the bitch.” Mikey stepped forward, determined, and passed his phone to Frank.  
  
By the time the spider watch was interrupted by heavy pounding on the door, pounding that made Mikey jump, he had a headache from staring so hard. But the spider had mostly stayed put. The whole time he walked to the door, Mikey could feel those little fucking spider eyes on him, could practically feel the eyes crawling on his skin.  
  
“About fucking time,” he mumbled, giving Gerard a half-hug before shoving him towards Frankie.  
  
“Thanks, Mikey. Glad to know I’m fucking appreciated.” Gee somehow managed to frown and smirk at the same time, holding a brown paper bag above his head that looked just the right size to be a couple bottles of insecticide from the hardware store. Which he was, really, and Mikey was grateful as fuck they were now equipped for the next invasion of eight-legged fiends, but he’d damn well missed Gerard especially since the stop at the hardware store apparently was what took Gee that extra twenty minutes to get there.  
  
“My head is gonna explode, Gerard, I love you but I will love you extra when it’s dead.” Mikey could tell he was whining, but seriously, his head was probably going to explode if he had to concentrate on anything within the next three days. “I think I’m gonna see spider legs and fucking- spider eyes in my sleep.”  
  
“Why didn’t you just trap it under a cup or something so you wouldn’t have to keep watching it?” Mikey cracked his eyes open, but Gerard was apparently being serious.’  
  
“Are you shitting me?” Frank shuddered as he moved out of the way so Gerard could get closer. “If we put that monster under a cup, one, we _drink_ out of those cups and two, we would be _getting close enough it could bite us._ If you value our lives, and you better fucking value us because we’re awesome, you can’t expect us to get close to that shit.”  
  
“What, but it’s cool if I get spider bitten and my hand rots off?” Gerard was hesitating, which was definitely not cool. If he wouldn’t kill the spider either, they’d have to completely start over and Mikey was not prepared to do that.  
  
“They’re like dogs,” Mikey piped in. “Spiders can sense fear. Not smell, I don’t think, do they even have noses? But they definitely sense it. You’ll be okay because you’re not worried about it biting you.”  
  
Proving Mikey right, Gerard slipped off his shoe and smacked it on the wall once, hard. The spider left a dark smudge on the wall that showed no sign of life whatsoever even when given serious inspection.  
  
Frank nodded emphatically. “You’re a life-saver, totally saved our asses here.” He waited a moment and gave the shoe in Gerard’s hand a look until he dropped it, then wrapped his arms around Gerard in a tight hug. “You know if we can do anything for you, dude, give the call and we’re there. Unless, obviously, there’s a spider involved.”  
  
Gerard shrugged before hugging back. “It’s what big brothers do.”  
  
“Yeah,” Mikey agreed, joining the hug. “Big brother of the year, here. I heard this year they’re thinking about giving a trophy.”  
  
Snorting, Gerard suggested, “Maybe they should give coffee and cigarettes. I’d do anything for you guys, you know that?”  
  
Mikey nodded, his head resting on his brother’s shoulder. He was damn lucky, spider or no spider.

**Author's Note:**

> Just moving fics over from lj, haven't reread so hopefully it's still an enjoyable read!


End file.
